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/////chapter 17//////                       









***

It was midnight over Metropolis.

From a great height, bronze shoulders stood above an amber honeycomb  cityscape.Braced between them was a world, a small globe, spinning  over the Metropolis skyline. The ever turning globe's strong ambition was a promise to the people below.

Metropolis was the City of Tomorrow.

 But for now, the gentle turning of The Daily Planet rocked  the city to sleep. The glowing air of the city carried the same essence of prosperity as the people who breathed it.  A movement carried like the wind,  an insurgence of peace and hope. A want for good, for better, for mankind. There were no sirens, no cries that night. Nor had there been a great disturbance for some time. The city was at ease as the globe gently watched over it.

Floors below, down by the Daily Planet's revolving doors, was a visitor.His blue eyes prayed upward, towards the symbol in the sky. It appeared small from where Clark stood. Or was it that Clark appeared small to it instead? His feet felt very heavy since he had returned to Earth. His powers meaningless now that he had lost them. He had no hope that they would ever return, nor did he really care.

 All he had came for was to see her.

After searching the continent  for the escaped Phantoms, or any trace of his father's lost crystal, Clark had found none. No trace, no word, not even reports of disturbances of any kind. It was as if he had returned to a different world entirely, this one absent from any trace of his ancestral wrong doing.

He pressed against the revolving door with the strongest inclination to follow the turning path back outside.  But as he steadied himself, as his feet crossed  the threshold, he took a deep breath.

His eyes searched for her.

The lobby was empty, but of course it would be. He had only hoped she, or some semblance of her would be here. He could feel her there, in the curves of the walls, the ceilings; the kerned gold letters on display.

Lured by the same magnetic force, Clark gravited down the stairs that led to the stained, mosaic glass. So different were these windows from the rest of the building's design. Different, but refreshingly so. A hidden gem located underground the metroplex of the city. A secret to only those who travelled through those doors, the ones Clark stood in between now.

He imagined their latent beauty, the colors of the sunlight. She was there too. 

His chest moved within him at that moment, standing alone in the dark. There was a crushing ache, a hope, that he would see her running towards him with her arms open, greeting him home.

His eyes searched for her.

There.

A desk, her desk.

Chloe.

A picture of her.

Clark held the photograph in his hand. "I found you."

And it was true. Since his return from the Phantom Zone, this was the only trace of Chloe he seen. His powers were gone now. There were no shortcuts, no abilities to draw on.  But from all these things, what he took for granted most was...

He could no longer hear her heartbeat.

But he knew she was alive.

She was here, so close,  in his hands.

Clark set the photo back on the desk and sat down in the chair next to it. Soon, the sun would rise and introduce glorious daylight to the latent beauty behind him. Soon, beauty would be restored to Clark. Soon, he would see her.

Gradually, strokes of sunlight filled the room, each one bringing additional suits and body with it. Steadily, they filled the desks around Clark. Colors danced upon his  back, his arms, hands and then fingers. Colors that Clark believed would never see again.

WOMP!

A stack of files slammed down on the desk in front of Clark, breaking him from his daydream. In front of him was a brunette: tall, familiar and angry.

"Hey! This isn't a rest stop." she said grumpily. It took Clark a moment to recognize that it was Chloe's older cousin. He couldn't remember her name. But she helped him along by picking up the name plate that sat on the corner of the desk, waving it in his face.

It read, Lois Lane.

"Unless you're here for an interview, I suggest you move. I have a million things to do today, and standing in front of my own desk isn't one of them. Thanks."

Clark blinked at her, she did not recognize him in return. He touched his face, and then drew the full picture. He looked different now. Older, darker, a healthy beard covering his face.

"Lois..." Clark said, moving to the side as she commandeered her space, "I'm looking for Chloe."

At the name, Lois froze. "What?" Her eyes looked caught, scared, like a animal stopped by headlights. "What did you say?"

"Chloe." Clark repeated quietly, "Where is she?"

Her eyes remained glazed as she stared at Clark, and then, a gradual change, a shift. As if her memory, as brief as it were, came back in flooding recognition. "Are you.. ?"

He nodded.

"Oh my god," she fell into her chair, deflated.

"Lois..." Clark knelt beside her, his chest beating harder the longer she stayed silent. Her brown eyes were wider  than ever, as if scared to speak what answers she had for him. But then her face relaxed, reengaged, and then spoke:

"Chloe was killed. The night you disappeared... "

Clark's chest collapsed, his ears throbbing from a pain even deeper than that. He couldn't hear the words Lois spoke to him anymore, he couldn't hear anything except his own chest, beating.  Incessant, and cruel, it searched for its rhythmic mate only to return devastated when it found nothing.

Lois watched as Clark Kent crumbled to the ground, his hands clutching at the photograph of a smiling, tragically beautiful blonde. Lois bent down, and covered Clark with her arms, muffling his sobs.

"After ten years," Lois gently rubbed his shoulder, " we never thought we would ever find you."

Clark slowly looked up.

Lois shook her head, "Where did you go?"


***
pt 2//


It was midday, Metropolis.

Clark sat on the entrance  steps of the Daily Planet while he observed the other occupants of the sidewalk. During Clark's daily residence outside, Lois observed him very closely.   She passed him every morning on her way to work, on her way out of work and in between. She noted how he appeared to be listless and angry all at once. He never moved. Never said a word. It was as if he were waiting for her. Not Lois of-course, but for Chloe. As if  her face would be one of the many crossing 5th and Concord Lane.

"Good morning." Lois paused infront of Clark as she ascended the stairs that morning.

He ignored her, eyes more angry than anything else. It wasn't that he couldn't hear her, he did. He heard everything, but it was never the same as before. Without his abilities, the world sounded empty in comparison. The only sounds reaching him were the ones limited by immediate proximity.  It was the first time that Clark had felt any limitation.

He was human now.

Clark listened as Lois' high heels continued up the concrete steps. She had been  busy, Clark noted, covering the recent updates from Queen Laboratories. Those scientists at Queen Lab, already accredited for the cure of the meteor infected, had discovered yet another break through for meteor vaccines,a preventative measure for contracting infection. There hadn't been a new infection in four years.The first to be cured, Clark would later  read that day, had been Alicia Baker.

To his left was the Metropolis Police Department Headquarters. Polished and proud like every other agency in the city, the Police had been quiet,  for once. The city, rested and calm. Police officers cornered the major intersections and traffic ways, as if guarding the recently acquired harmony. There were squad cars lined about and Clark caught eyes with one of the patrolman outside of them. The patrolman, young and proud, started towards him, "Hey! No loitering around here, buddy."

Clark shifted his eyes away, the gleam of the Lex Corp building to his right.

"Hey!" The irritated cop said again, "Did you hear me?"

After spending years unnoticed by blue uniforms, it was strange now that Clark's presence was so obvious. He waited until the cop stood above him, his black baton poking his shoulder.

"Y'know, I've been watching you. Some kind of bum, aren't you? Sit here all day..."

Clark tried to ignore him, staring past his blue uniform and into the crowd.

"This city doesn't have room for your type. Why don't you go and get a job, buddy--"

The young cop backed up once Clark sprouted upwards, towering over him like a giant sequoia.  This was where Clark felt strange, his feet not collaborating with his mind. In the past, he would have turned and sped away. A blur in the distance. Avoided the guy altogether. Instead, the cop's eyes opened wide, the fear in them so strong that it shook Clark awake. This man was afraid of him.

The cop called for backup on his shoulder radio. Several more officers jogged across the street.

"Let me see your ID."

"I don't have one."

A second patrolmen yelled behind him, "What's your name?"

Clark's lips twitched, the effort to conceal his teeth tearing at his patience. Didn't they have real emergencies?  Didn't they know who he once was? A legend, a blur, the midnight hero of Metropolis?

"His name is Clark Kent." Lois interrupted. She  walked in between the group, all legs leading into a snug dress suit and bouncing brown hair. She smiled infectiously. "And he is absolutely harmless."

The patrolment looked at one another and then admiringly at Lois. "This guy a friend of yours Ms. Lane?"

"Why yes." Lois smiled at Clark, "He's an old friend of the family."

The patrolmen nodded apologetically, a few stepping forward to ask for Lois' autograph. Clark watched as she pulled a stylish ink pen from out of thin air, as if this motion was rehearsed often.

"Gee.." One of the starstruck patrolmen grinned, "You're gorgeous in person, Ms. Lane."

Clark left at that, ignoring all the other drabble that followed. He pushed his way through the crowd gathering at the steps,  made his way across the street. A taxi screeched its tires and honked as he walked through oncoming traffic. Clark barely noticed, only stopping to look if the yellow haired woman next to him might be her.

But back across the street, near Metropolis PD, Chief Adams, newly elected Chief of Police turned towards the commotion.

"What is it, Chief?" A lieutenant turned with her.

Nancy Adams, the former Sheriff of Lowell County, squinted, lines deepening around her eyes. "I must be getting old." She turned towards the lieutenant and smiled, "Could've sworn I saw a ghost."

*

Clark returned home, to the farm.

The yellow house and the red barn. There was only one truck now, Martha selling the other at auction years ago. Clark stood at the loft window, peering outward to the dirt drive. He heard nothing but the creak of the stairs behind him.

"I'm glad you're home," said Martha, arms wrapped in a soft sweater. Her kind eyes moistened when Clark turned to her. His expression was similar to a young man suffering from amnesia, or from a long lost journey at sea. His face was still darkened by the strange sun burn, his eyes weary from exhaustion. Physical or purely psychological, Clark's mind had wandered and investigated every corner he turned those last weeks, desperately searching for a scrap of familiarity. Now, he felt the phantom pains of his travel.

 "I don't feel home."

She moved towards him, "You were gone a very long time." There was a scrape across his chin made earlier that evening. He had shaven his beard.  This, Martha noted, was the first real step he had taken to returning home.

"Was I?" Clark wrinkled his brow, eyes angry. "I can't even feel time anymore. Everything .. changed."

Martha moved back, concerned, "Clark, everything that had to do with your abilities is gone. Your powers.. the caves.. Even the meteor infected were cured, not too long after." Martha looked at him, pleading for him to understand, "I know you wanted to understand your heritage, your origins... You must be devastated to know now, that even less of its existence exists now."

"My books." Clark motioned to his desk and drawers. "Dr. Swann's journals that were given to me. Where are they?"

"Confiscated." Martha said apologetically, " The days after you disappeared. The police came here and stormed through all of your belongings. It took me by surprised, I--" Martha bent her head down, the guilt to heavy for her, "I'm sorry, Clark. I should have fought harder, I was just so worried you were hurt--"

"It's fine." Clark dismissed it. "They mean nothing now."

 She looked at him differently, her eyes veering from his face ever so often to study the remainder of scars found on his arms and neck. Those were the ones he didn't cover up.

"The place I went to..." Clark spoke to his mother, but remained facing the sunset. "There was nothing there. No warmth, no purpose. Just a void. Now that I'm home, I feel much of the same. Even without Kryptonian threat, the world will continue to find its own dangers. But without my abilities, I am just a man. "

"You are more than that." Martha touched his hand very lightly. "You are my son."

*

That night, like every night since he'd returned, Clark tossed and turned, unable to sleep. The darkness of his bedroom shifted liked black sand, swallowing him back to that hellish place. The  red eyes of J'onn Jonzz hovered over his conscious, taunting his plea for rest.  But there was no rest. The constant worry that he had overlooked the returned Phantoms, or the return of Brainiac kept Clark awake, or yet, concentrated his mind like a acidic fear that ate away all of his inner peace.


He had searched everywhere, revisited every place the Kryptonians had ever followed, but there was no trace. The caves, as Martha described, had been bulldozed over by order of the last will and testament of the long deceased Alexander Luthor.  Clark considered looking north, to the arctic where Brainiac had once led him, but without the cave portal, and without his powers, the search was futile.  Ghostly echoes of Kryptonian language cursed in his ears, the directives of Jor-El no longer heard. Every essence of his Kryptonian self had vanished, leaving a hollow shell that searched for its replenishment.

Clark would lay on his back, looking out the small window of his room to where the stars appeared. The small flecks of light blinked as he concentrated. So far away was everything he had hoped for, dreamed for. It had been ages since he could dream. But Clark searched within himself every night, hoping that sleep would drift inside, and that he could awaken from this nightmare.

The long quiet of the Kansas nights spoke loudly of her absence.